How do we struggle a little less with what to do with our lives?
Here's one thing that might help...
So many people struggle with understanding what to do with their lives - both long-term and even over a day or week. This is not surprising and actually is probably the way things should be. I have a variation this conversation with a lot of colleagues and friends.
If you’re in this position, you’re one of the fortunate ones. It means that you have options but can’t decide between them, or need to juggle a bunch of responsibilities and desires.
I’ve explained something I use, and encouraged folks on my teams use, about a dozen times over the last couple of months so thought it might be time to write it up. :-)
It’s a variation on what is (apparently incorrectly) attributed to Warren Buffett.
Step 1. Write down a list of your top 25 career goals.
Step 2. Circle the five most important goals that truly speak to you. These are your most urgent goals and highest priorities to focus on.
Step 3. Cross off the other 20 goals you have listed that hold less importance.
Focusing is good, but
I don’t think you should list just career goals - you should do all of your goals including personal ones. There’s a ton of value in having single lists and stacking things against each other. If your career is more important than your family (or vice-versa), you should know.
I think rather than picking 5 - stack ranking these goals is what you should do even if some of them are in conflict. That lets you understand just how much more you care about some things vs. others.
Also recognize that these priorities aren’t static. Looking at them and re-prioritizing every 6-ish months is probably a good idea.
So based on that, here’s my variant of the Steps above, and how to use it. I use a Google spreadsheet to maintain it, though admittedly there are better tools.
Write down all of your personal/professional goals - everything you want to accomplish or want to be true in the next couple of decades. It’s fine even if some of these are in conflict.
Then stack rank them - it gives you a sense of how much more you care about one versus the other. This can take a while, but I find is where a lot of the value of this exercise is. It matters less if #23 is really more important than #25, but knowing they are less important than say #10 is useful information to have for yourself.
Then once you have your list, think about a plan for some of the things at the top - how will those come true? But also think about how much effort you put into the others. Is it really the right amount?
So why does ensuring this prioritization and the corresponding allocation of time/energy matter?
Most people have a hard time if you ask them for the top 5 things that they want to get done, but naming a lot or everything (e.g. 25 items) is easier and allows them to be comprehensive.
For most people, I think life is too short to just focus on a few things - particularly if your list includes everything you want to do.
For example, “Get better at pickup basketball” is going to be on my list for a while but unfortunately will never crack the top 5, but it is something I want to keep doing.The stacking is a reminder of what’s important. While it’s unlikely you can spend time and mental energy proportionally, the sheet has for me at least become a reminder and a tool to check up on.
It’s hard to make any progress, if you don’t know where you’re headed. At least for me, this has proved to be the most effective way to decide and remind myself of what I truly value.
What about you? What do you use?